Im realized I havent lived up to my "Fantasy writer" thing so Im going to put up a small thing I have that came from a few days ago when I had a dream. The dream was so vivid and so diffrent from my other dreams that when I woke up I forced myself to write it down. So im goignt o proff read it, spruce it up, comb over a few persanal parts, and I will do this all as soon as I figure out where I put it......heh. But Im just warning you all before hand and I would like very active critasism about when I put it up, no "good job" or "Butiful work" or any of that shit, I want to feel it as you drag me through the mud.

Its come to point where ill take anything, I hate the same boring reality. My life has dwindled down to reading whatever books I can lay my hands on, just to be able to forget about my life for the duration of the time im reading. I want to make a diffrence and do something, but when i finnaly get to it, its either to late or Iv lost the eithusiasm. I have officaly reached what i call to myself my 3rd black point. It where my life has reached a low so low that I question the reason to do anything. Why do i get up, why do i got to school, why do i eat, why should i try? At this time Im looking for something to change that, to find something to busy myself in or find someone you really belives in me and can help my cripped mind walk agian.

As i asumed very little off you acully read my last journal and that really hurts. You would think that to be a friend you would supportive, a least as supportive as I am off you guys. If you really hate me that much just tell so I can start planning my suicide. Thank you to the one person who acully cares for others.

I have been feeling realy down latey, I seach for someone to talk to, to feel comfertable with, to hug and share and feel,
it eats at me the horrible lonlinees does, if you have any love to share plz do, I depertly need it, and to any girls that might aculy read this (cuz I asume you see my name and erase) plz tell me why im so unatractive, if you say my hands thats reasonable, but if it anything else plz share, Im dieing here.

well im back,
buuuuutttttttt im having trouble writing, its either nothing comes to mind or it seems to much like something iv seen before,
oh fucking well,
ill put up some writing when i can think of something.